Something to Munch On

November 30, 2025

"Love people where they are," my grandmother shared with me as I helped her in the garden.

Most grandmothers gave out candy, handmade blankets, long big hugs, or unsolicited advice on life or marriage.

But my grandmama, she provided a home filled with God's love, a meal to fill your belly, and unfiltered truth, if you asked for it. My grandmama's truth was wrapped in love, but it sliced through excuses like a hot knife through butter and sometimes made you laugh at yourself.

Thinking back, I now call those moments "Something to Munch On". Because she was always munching on pecans as she would give you a word of wisdom to chew on. It might have been hard to swallow, but the nutrients of what she shared fed you for a lifetime.

Although, my grandmama was a woman of few words, it was how she lived her life and how she treated people, that spoke volumes. That is what drew people to her porch. People would seek it out like Sunday dinner.

Front Porch Confessionals

My grandparent's porch was legendary. My granddaddy was always available to deliver the jokes and tall tales, my grandmama was there to listen and share if prompted, and the Lord sitting nearby shaking his head at our life choices.

People in a small town in South Georgia would pull up in the dirt front yard and call out from their cars or trucks with greetings for my grandparents. That would lead to an invite to join them on the porch for some lemonade or water, and a tin pan of pecans from the tree on the side of the yard.

"Come on and sat a spell," my granddaddy would call out. My grandmama would ask, "you want something to drink?"

AI generated image in Wix

If the person was seeking advice or looking for a place to relax and just be, they would accept the invite and join my grandparents on the porch. I would then get the instructions, "Renee, go to the kitchen and bring . . . a glass of lemonade." I would bring the beverage and go in the house, because kids were not invited to be around grown folk conversations. But it didn't stop me from listening at the door or window.

Before I could get in the house good, our visitor was spilling everything, relationship, financial, work, and family drama. Once, my uncle's girlfriend came by asking, why would God send her a man who plays games with people's feelings.

Before, my granddaddy could crack a joke, my grandmama, stopped rocking in her rocking chair, leaned forward and asked, "Are you sure you want to know what I think?"

"Are You Sure You Want To Know What I Think?"

My Grandmama had rules.

The first one was well known:

"Are you sure you want to know what I think? Because all I have is the truth and the word of God. I have nothing else."

People responded in two ways, 1) with a deep breath contemplating the question or 2) eagerly responding. Either way they looked like they were signing a waiver when they replied, "yes ma'am."

Grandmama would then, fold her hands in her lap or lean in and lovingly hand them the truth so clear, tender, and authentically real that they'd either

• burst out laughing,

• wipe their eyes with the nearest napkin or tail of their shirt, or

• walk away in deep thought. (something to munch on)

My uncle's girlfriend replied, "yes ma'am."

My grandmama asked a series of questions, "who told you God sent my son to you? Did you know what you were looking for in a man before my son came along? Why do you keep putting your heart in the hands of a man you have admitted that keeps breaking your heart?"

This led to a long in-depth conversation. My grandmother closed the conversation with, "the truth will make you free, but you have to know what the truth is to recognize it when it's presented."

Grandmama always added each visitor's name to her prayer list and would make a basket of goods from the garden if there was a need and leave it on their doorstep in the early morning or late at night if they lived nearby.

Her Secret: Loving People Right Where They Were

Grandmama never rushed, judged or tried to fix anybody, but she did believe in each of us taking accountability for our decisions and the consequences of our actions. She understood that people live in different chapters, seasons, and developmental stages, a truth she reminded me of constantly:

"Renee, everybody's not on the same step in life. Some people are learning, some are healing, and some are just stubborn as a mule (I think she was referring to my granddaddy, lol). But if you love them where they are, you give them room to grow where they are going."

Grandmama believed in letting people discover and learn from their own lessons, even if they learned the hard way. Because as I learned from my own lessons, change and progressive growth evolve when I leverage and apply the lessons I learn.

I repeatedly watched my grandmother uplift and empower others with God's word and her perspective. People left her presence lighter, clearer, or at least feeling loved, because she gave them:

• truth without judgment,

• honesty without demeaning,

• grace without enabling, and

• love without conditions.

Her way of loving people where they were elevated them to where they needed to be.

That was her gift to me and others.

Reflection Point: "Something to Munch On"

1. Who in your life needs you to love them right where they are, not where you want them to be?

2. Do you offer people truth wrapped in grace, or judgment wrapped in frustration?

3. How has someone's patience or acceptance helped you grow at your own pace?

Take a moment to imagine yourself sitting on my grandparent's front porch. You sipping lemonade, as she cracks pecans in a tin pan in her lap, rocking slow, offering love that gives you space to rise.