Spotlight Junkie

"Step out today not seeking to be in the spotlight but seeking for a spot to light - be a blessing to someone." - Bernard Kelvin Clive

"Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose], and let your gaze be straight before you." - Proverbs 4:25 AMP

Okay, come on in - LEAN in - get CLOSE. I have something to tell you! Are you close?

Okay, I engaged in some crucial conversations the past couple of weeks. They were intense, thought-provoking, inquisitive, and emotionally draining. One was about performance and value. This one crucial conversation-initiated fluttering in my stomach and took me on an emotional rollercoaster and I don't enjoy rollercoasters one bit. But the conversation ended with honest, transparent feedback, because of the use of the SBI (scenario, behavior, impact) model. You use a specific scenario, the behavior expressed in that scenario and the impact of the behavior on individuals, teams, projects, etc. This conversation led me to what I am about to share with you.

Okay, here goes . . I . . . - This is hard to say. (deep breathe - exhale) "Hi, I am Cassandra, and I am a spotlight seeking junkie." Whew, that was hard. What? Don't judge me. This was hard to admit. You are my community, and I can be transparent with you, right?

Oh, you thought the crucial conversation was work or relationship related. Well, technically it was a little of both. The Holy Spirit had some come to Jesus moments with me about being inconsistent in my spiritual walk and in the use of my gifts and talents. I met this feedback with resistance. My response, "I have a lot going on, and life events are spinning like a basketball on a Globetrotter's finger." Did I just date myself? Oh well.

When I assessed the things, I was recently complaining about, I realized it was all about me being inconvenienced or me not being recognized or me . . . By not expanding my focus beyond me, I missed the bigger picture and minimized the amount of energy I needed to invest into my goals of truly helping others. Therefore, I began seeking superficial gratification (spotlight junkie - look at me!), dwelling on past accomplishments to make me feel better and substituted busy work for accomplishments (see 2025-Week 21 blog post). It doesn't take a lot for me to be real with myself. The challenge is taking that revelation knowledge and making the continuous adjustments to improve. Isn't that the best part about life? Each day is an opportunity to be better.

Alright, let's skip past the drama from my come to Jesus moments. I received the following revelation in these moments.

1. Genuine and consistent engagement with my life source . . .

   1. redirects my focus from the chaos to my purpose/goal.

   2. focus on my purpose/goal empowers a different line of thought and energy from me.

2. Intentional Living . . .

   1. activates boundaries to reduce and/or alleviate distractions.

   2. provides room in my mind and heart to serve others.

   3. creates space for curiosity and solution minded thinking.

3. By authentically showing up . . .

   1. as my genuine best self, I bring light where there is darkness.

   2. I am value by sharing my active ear, talent, knowledge, and experiences.

   3. I give others permission to live and thrive as their best selves.

This revelation knowledge and post led to some great entries in my journal. Check out my Call 2 Action tab (2025-Week 25: Spotlight Junkie) for some prompts for your journal or for you to consider.